The Texture of Longing
Liliko'i Papaya Butter Mochi, August 29, 2020.
In August of 2020, I began experimenting with breaking the 4th wall of Instagram. I began offering friends and followers slices of custom butter mochi for pick up from my open garage. For the first time, others beyond my immediate circle of family, friends, and classmates could come and taste what they could see on their feeds.
So how does a holistic nutritionist transform into a dessert-making culinary artist? It wasn’t much of a leap at all. Just months after graduating with my Master of Science in Nutrition, I found myself navigating a global pandemic, limiting my trips to grocery stores, and stocking up on self-stable pantry items for meals and snacks. As part of my own food relationship, I had already been exploring what liberation might taste like through my own practices of food freedom, self-trust, and a commitment to feeding myself for nourishment, joy, and pleasure, as opposed to a staunch pursuit of health or a particular size/shape, or copping some kind of moral “wellness” superiority or elitism. I asked myself what I craved, what I longed for. I asked myself how I might embody my liberation. I asked myself how I might express all of this through food.
Butter mochi was my answer.
Vegan Liliko’i Coco(nut) Mochi with Strawberry Li Hing Mui swirls topped with freeze dried Strawberry and homegrown Mr. Lincoln Rose petals
For the first batch of butter mochi I made in this now ongoing experiment, I used fresh papaya, Hawai’i-grown liliko’i (passionfruit), and home-grown rose petals. Then, I draped a rickety wooden table in my garage with a colorful pareo and some doilies, photographed the batch in its pan and waited.
Passion Orange Butter Mochi topped with candied oranges and homegrown fuchsia
Since then, (it’s been over a year now) the butter mochi flavor combinations, and the Instagram likes, comments, and DMs have accumulated as batch after batch of butter mochi emerged from my oven every Friday. Since then, mere connections have become relationships, mirrored in the viscoelastic properties of butter mochi. Sticky-togetherness. Since then, followers have become fellow community members.
Vegan Nettle Tea Coco(nut) Mochi with Blackberry Rose Water Preserves topped with Native Wild Nootka Rose Leaves foraged by Genevieve Flanagan of Urban Acre Homestead
What began as an experiment has now become a way forward for me. Butter mochi embodies the texture of longing: a longing for connection during a global pandemic; a longing for family and culture and home; a longing for belonging.
Furikake Popcorn Butter Mochi with Tamari Black Sesame Swirls
You can follow my ongoing butter mochi making journey on Instagram @daphne_k_jenkins where I post and share stories with details about my bake sales and pop-ups. Mahalo!
You can read a recently published Food52 feature article by Rae Robey on my butter mochi making: Butter Mochi Meets Diet Culture Resistance in a Portland Home Kitchen And, you can check out my first Food52 published butter mochi recipe: Popcorn Butter Mochi with Furikake and Black Sesame
